A Boy, A Girl, A Virus, and the Relationship That Happened Anyway

Shawn Decker, a hemophiliac, acquired the HIV virus through tainted blood products at age 7. Much like Ryan White, Shawn was expelled by his school in rural Virginia when his status became known. He grew up surrounded by fear and ignorance. He grew up believing he would die of AIDS-related causes before he could drive.

Shawn became a nationally recognized AIDS activist, infusing a great sense of humor with prevention and awareness issues. He wrote columns for national magazines about life with HIV. He was invited to the White House. He became a spokesman for HIV infected youth.

And as the years passed, the possibility of a normal life became less remote, and Shawn began confronting some of the same issues that "regular" teenage men confront. But things were always a little more complicated. His peers began dating and experimenting with sex, and Shawn worried if a kiss at the end of a date could pass along the virus.

Shawn and Gwenn were awesome! They were funny despite the seriousness of the topic.  They weren't just there to lecture and tell people what they already know.  They let the audience ask their own questions and find their own answers, and they were totally open about everything.  I think watching someone who can be so optimistic about the situation is really inspiring..."

Krystal Frank
Lafayette College

Gwenn Barringer answered that question. The two met through their AIDS activist activities. She fell in love with him in spite of the virus, and in spite of his love for professional wrestling.  Shawn and Gwenn were married in October 2004.

Now the two are bringing a new kind of HIV awareness program to college campuses. Students, by and large, have become desensitized to the issues surrounding HIV and safe sex. As HIV becomes a more chronic issue — more mainstreamed in our society — relationships like theirs are becoming less rare. Shawn and Gwenn challenge students to open their minds and confront their images of people infected and affected by HIV.

Real Life Fairytales:
Dispelling The Myth Of The Perfect Relationship

Everyone wants a picture perfect relationship, but what if your Romeo or Juliet comes with a little extra baggage?   Do you hop on your horse and head for the hills?   Or do you follow your heart and see what happens?

Fairytale romances are great in the movies.   Unfortunately, real life is a little more complicated and finding, as well as keeping, that special someone can be challenging.

Shawn Decker and Gwenn Barringer should know.

When the two met in their early 20's, Gwenn was attending graduate school.   She met Shawn, an educator who was living with HIV, and the two quickly became friends.   Once they started dating, people wondered, ?Can they have a normal relationship?   And why would she do that??

For the pair, HIV was the least of their worries, and neither shied away from the discussions necessary to make such a relationship work.

"Shawn and Gwenn were great to work with.  They are funny and approachable so it made the students feel comfortable asking the questions they wanted to know the answers to."

Nicole Bastide
Slippery Rock University

During the program, Shawn and Gwenn will discuss the roads they traveled to get to one another. For ten years, Shawn didn't talk about his HIV status, which provided some awkward and very dramatic situations in high school.   He always knew someone was out there for him, but for many years he assumed his medical condition- and not his unwillingness to talk about it- was the main problem.

If Shawn and Gwenn can overcome what they have, then anyone should be able to confront their own fears about intimacy.   The reality of relationships is that, if they are going to work, then both people must be honest about who they are and what they bring to the table.

This interactive program is funny, engaging and is a valuable lesson to any student who has ever wondered, "Is there someone out there for me??"

Bugs in the Bedroom

What good are condoms if no one knows how to use them? Did you know that wearing two condoms actually decreases the effectiveness of both condoms? Or that you shouldn't keep a condom in your wallet for longer than a couple of days?

In this program, Shawn and Gwenn use activities and demonstrations to demystify the condom, welcoming it into the bedroom. They also describe the negative feelings people have about condoms and debunk popular excuses for not using them ("they're not big enough," "I can't feel anything," and "I'm not at risk").

Shawn and Gwenn keep the information funny and straightforward. Students will leave the program with the tools necessary to keep "bugs" out of their bedrooms. When it comes to safer sex and STD prevention, a little good information can go a long way toward saving lives.