As the school year begins, we place a lot of high expectations on ourselves. As great as it is to go into the year with goals, we have to be careful that those goals don’t turn into a competition with our peers. If we’re not careful, we’ll end up sizing ourselves up next to our classmates, our roommates—even our friends (without even realizing it!). All of sudden, we get those nagging feelings of resentment, jealousy, and uncertainty about ourselves. That little voice within tells us that we are inferior, insufficient—that not only will we not reach those goals, but we will also fail entirely.
Well, that took a dark turn.
Thankfully, we can turn it around. Rather than compare ourselves to others, we can find opportunities to learn from one another and in the process, learn to love ourselves. If you don’t foster a love for yourself and what you stand for, all of the knowledge, self-care, and resources are meaningless. I cannot make you care about yourself: only you can do that. Of course, I can tell you that you are valuable, worthwhile, and loved but only you can believe that.
I know you might have doubts about yourself; perhaps you think you aren’t “enough,” but will you do something for me? Will you read the following sentence and truly believe it?
I am enough.
You are enough. I am enough. Just as we are. Do you believe this? Life is going to be a long journey if you cannot start accepting yourself for the imperfectly perfect person that you are. We all have made mistakes, and we will continue to do so (myself included!). That is the essence of being human. But it is also the essence of humanness that includes goodness, compassion, and kindness. I believe that you already possess all that inherent goodness within you. You just have to own that and know that you are entirely wonderful.
As you read this, ask yourself what FIVE qualities make you AMAZING? Embrace it!
Many of my clients speak words of shame to themselves. I often hear the following come out of their mouth on a weekly basis:
- I’m not smart enough.
- I’m not talkative enough.
- I’m not pretty/handsome enough.
- I’m not funny enough.
- I’m not cool enough.
- I’m not thin/strong enough.
The list could go on and on. But let’s stop this list. Rather than compare ourselves to others, let’s remember that we are enough as we are. It’s not about comparison. There can be room for everyone to succeed. I know that I have days when I feel insufficient, and days when I have doubts, but I have to remind myself: I am enough. And if someone thinks that I am not enough? Then that is their loss and someone else’s gain. I trust that even when someone says “no” to me or denies me an opportunity, something better is meant to come along. I believe this for your life as well.
Remember, you are skilled enough, you are smart enough, you are dedicated enough to accomplish what you are seeking to do. If you compare yourself to others, we all will fall short in one way or another. So instead, hold yourself to your own highest standard and seek to meet that potential. That’s all that you owe to yourself.
Learn more about the Sunny Girl, Lauren Cook and her programs at campuspeak.com/cook.